I'm sat here in my new but empty house share on a Saturday night crying while watching Take Me Out.

Its happened again but its a thousand times worse this time. This time I've had to uproot my life in my beautiful home that I spent 6 months making and trade it in for a spare room in a house that has bed bugs. So yeah, I've been demoted to a sofa in a strange house with an occasional nip to the ankles and I've honestly never felt lonelier.

Its been the longest month of my life.
Its actually been the longest 6 months of my life.
While I spent the time focusing on building a home to settle down in, my other half spent the time finding another person to settle down with. I knew something was going on, I just chose not to acknowledge it.
Shock horror, 6 months later I've exploded under the strain of a million lies and deceptions and I'm on Rightmove searching for my new place like I have done after every fight since living together, but this time it was real.

A £15,000 salary doesn't get you much in Norwich these days and after clinging on to my last shred of independence I viewed a flat that was £495 pcm. I took 3 hours to debate the decision and once I kicked my arse into gear to phone them up and put in an application, it was gone.
It seemed to be this way for every remotely decent flat under £500 that was a half hour walk of the city.

Returning home to my childhood bedroom to cry a year of my life away on dole didn't even cross my mind at the time, I told myself I had to power through, I had responsibilities for the first time and I had to act my age.
At the age of 21, I finally had my long term boyfriend, my job, my own house and a beautiful furry friend.
At the age of 21, I lost two of those things and I was too embarrassed to admit defeat and willingly let go of the other two.
In hindsight, I wish somebody had of sat me down to tell me that my friends will still be here in 2 years and that photography jobs will come and go because now, I've signed the next 6 months of my life away to a house where two of the house mates pay rent but don't even live here and to a job that I was never truly happy with.

I write all of this with a heavy heart at the end of a much needed week off work. I did return home for a brief 5 days but I really think I needed more. I'm not sure where I'm going now and I feel very lost. All I know is that I'm saving to get out of my overdraft and if my landlord doesn't fix his bedbug problem I'm going to be forced to relocate unwillingly again.

I guess I'll keep you updated?